of speedos and hairy backs..

i just thought i'd share some snippets of my wonderful time away from sub zero melbourne... sooo, after spending a whole month in a tropical island (which shall not be named in case i get sued) with the dodgiest internet connection in the whole world but the best diving spots.

i got to thinking - men can be so lucky.. if i was a man - i would be quite busy ogling the ladies and their ummm dental floss like costumes prancing around like the goddesses that they are...... however, as i unfortunately am a woman i was instead treated to the damning slash mind numbing sight of said dental floss'saggy consorts in their bright blue speedos and (awk! choke! gasp!) hairy backs. to my horror, some of these consorts also sported speedos of the flouro green variety (thankfully none opted for red or i would have puked in my throat).

anyhooooo, as my scrutiny continued (for no amount of sunglasses can spare my eyes from said neon madness) - i have come to appreciate how this unfortunate male costume accentuates the overflowing beer bellies and the wearer's complete absence of a butt. how these elaborately err snug contraption cradles them precious budgies contained there. (anyone gagging yet?)

ahh.. but skimpy neon speedos aside lets not forget the sagging teak brown man boobs (front, back and sides), the rich, coarse texture of the alpha oldie's back hairs right down to the cleavage of his butt crack and of course - the immaculately sidecombed coiffure, artistically arranged to catch the least amount of uv rays as possible.

i know.. i know.. this is a free world and anyone can wear whatever they want... but for the love of all that is holy - i beg you, ditch the neon speedos and understand that some people would rather gouge their own eyes out than see such things.

end of my rant. good day to all.

p.s. any requests for picture to go with this post is absolutely denied.