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Saturday 23 July 2011

Distance: The Serial Killer of Relationships

Some recent events in my life have got me thinking about relationships and the reasons behind why they might flourish and then, why they might die. I've come to the conclusion that it is distance that is the number one cause of withering, dying, or dead relationships. Be that distance emotional or physical, separation from the ones you care about will ultimately sever your connection with them. Death of course, is that final and most feared creator of distance.

All of this of course doesn't only apply to romantic relationships. Oftentimes, I've had many friendships terminate because of distance. Whether it was former co-workers or classmates, physical distance creates a breakdown in communication and then everything spirals downward from there. You can always measure the strength of a friendship by how you act when you haven't communicated with that person in a long time. Most of us have friends that we may not see or talk to for months or even years at a time, but when you do, it's like no time has passed at all. That's how you know you have a strong connection with that person.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and though that may be true, I believe that prolonged absence makes the mind grow harder. By that I mean that the practical side of our brains learn to accept the distance and distracts us from our emotions by concentrating on routine and day to day survival.

Technology is a wonderful gift and tool that we use. I often marvel at the fact that I can talk to people through written word or by voice despite the fact that the listener is hundreds maybe even thousands of miles away. Unfortunately, human beings need to feel a physical presence in order to thrive. I really enjoy talking to distant friends or relatives, but I get so much more out of being in the same physical space with them.

Distance is a crafty killer. At first, you don't think it will be a problem, but then after time, you begin to forget. You realize that you don't actually need to feel the other person's presence because life will go on without them. Distance comes in so many shapes and forms, too and what may seem like a great opportunity is really creator of distance.

There will never be a cure for distance, but perhaps with more awareness, people can prevent distance from happening without their knowledge.

That's all folks...

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